


Bigbang crack oneshots

by Seungriseyos_bitch



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Choi Seunghyun is a dumb fuck, Crack, Dong Youngbae is so done with everyone, Kang Daesung is that one innocent virgin, Kwon Jiyong and Lee Seunghyun are fucking each other ALL THE FUCKING TIME, M/M, Nyongtory are making this book seem like a smut book when it's not, nsfw jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 02:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30014736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seungriseyos_bitch/pseuds/Seungriseyos_bitch
Summary: bigbang are doing crack and it seems
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./Kang Daesung, Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon/Lee Seunghyun | Seungri
Kudos: 2





	Bigbang crack oneshots

**Author's Note:**

> This applies to all chapters of the book. The things posted in this book are all made up by my dumb ass and don't represent Bigbang in any way shape or form. Also Bigbang live all together in these stories because I said so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungri loses his horniness for a day

Aaah~ what a nice peacefull day in Bigbang's dorm. WAIT! Did I actually say that? Well that was a fucking lie... Anygays let's begin

Jiyong runs into Taeyang's room. Surprisingly enough, he finds the other members in his room aswell. "GUYS! SEUNGRI TURNED PURE! NVSKSJBBFYUSBDKCHFSDBVKJZDDDHVHHB" They all looked at him in confusion. "Bitch what? You can't be for real." Taeyang said to the younger. "I can't explain how it happened but yes I'm for real." Said Jiyong and then took a deep breath. "How did you figure out that he turned pure?" Daesung asked curiously. "First, he woke me up at SEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!!" Jiyong yelled furiously. "Okay, no need to yell. He just disturbed your beauty sleep. So what?" Youngbae asked as he glared at Jiyong.

"He was whining because I didn't 'wake him up in time'. We don't have a sleeping schedule!" He kept yelling at the others. Seungri walked in the room "Hey Hyungs~" He said playfully "No." Youngbae glared at him. "Hyung~ why are you being mean~" Seungri whined. "It's because you are not your good old nasty self. Insead you act like you don't even know how babies are made." Seunghyun said to the maknae. "But I don't." Seungri said while looking at the floor embarassed. "You're not the only one..." Daesung said, trying to comfort Seungri. "Let's eat breakfast please. I'm done with this stupidity" Said Youngbae, breaking the awkwardness.

They got to the kitchen to eat. "Can I cook too?" Seunghyun asked. "No. If I let you cook then there will be a fire hazard." Youngbae replied. Seunghyun sat down angrily. "Oh, that reminds me, Jiyong Hyungie~" "What?" Jiyong asked annoyed. "How are babies made?" Seungri asked. Youngbae choked on his coffee. "Now we're talking. Anyways, I'll show you how it's done my dear Riri." Jiyong said erotically. "OH NO YOU ARE NOT GONNA NON-CON HIM!" Youngbae yelled at Jiyong. "A-Am I in trouble?" Seungri asked. "If he decides to go hard on you." Seunghyun said to him. Youngbae glared at Seunghyun and Seunghyun smirked at him. 

Jiyong grabbed Seungri's wrist and dragged him into his bedroom. "Great. now you scared the shit out of him. Good job Seunghyun." Said Daesung as he rolled his eyes. Seungri's loud moans could be heard even outside of the room. "Well... The walls are a bit too thin don't ya think?" Seunghyun said while trying to break the silence. Seungri walked out of the room with a sad expression. "Oh shit. Did he go THAT hard on you?" Youngbae asked him. "No but it was traumatizing!" Seungri whined. "He showed me people doing things naked in bed on a site called Cornhub or something." Seungri continued. "Pornhub." Seunghyun corrected. "Seunghyun! It's better if Ri doesn't know the sight name!'' Youngbae said to him.

"Well... Anyways. Daesung, wanna go crackhead?" Seunghyun asked. "Yes take me away from this household please!" Daesung pleaded. "Let's go!"

Seunghyun and Daesung got dressed and got out of the house. Youngbae and Jiyong stayed with Seungri. "Jiyongie~ can we play something together?" Seungri asked. "I don't know. Taeyang-ah! How do we take care of a 30 year old fetus?" "Don't ask me, you motherfucker!" Youngbae yelled. "Since Youngbae isn't willing to help, what do you wanna play Seungriyah?" "Just Dance!" Seungri answered in pure excitement. "Oh yeah let's play the game that we're in and BTS aren't so that we trigger some ARMYs that probably stumbled accros this book!" Youngbae said. 

A few hours passed by and these three got exhausted. "I'm so dead right now" Jiyong exclaimed. "What time is it?" Seungri asked. "9 pm?" Youngbae answered. Seungri gasped loudly. "IT'S PAST MY BEDTIME!!! PLEASE DON'T PUNISH ME FOR STAYING UP LATE!" "Are you still not convinced that Seungri turned pure?" Jiyong said to Youngbae. "Unbelievable! You were surprisingly right Jiyong!" Youngbae said in disbelief. "Seungri, go take a shower. Why do i feel like I forgot something?" Youngbae said. "Is that someething Seunghyun and Daesung?" "OH MY GOD! WE WERE SO BUSY TAKING CARE OF PURE SEUNGRI THAT WE FORGOT ABOUT SEUNGHYUN AND DAESUNG! JIYONG STAY WITH SEUNGRI I'M GOING TO FIND THEM!" Youngbae called Seunghyun. "SEUNGHYUN-AH! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" Youngbae yelled. "Hyung, turn of the speaker" Daesung said. "It's not on speaker"

"YOU ASSHOLES BETTER GET BACK HERE OR ELSE I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SLEEP IN THE BATHTUB!" Youngbae kept yelling at the others. He took deep breaths and hung up. Jiyong and Seungri got in the bathroom and Seungri took off his clothes. "Look if you weren't pure I wouldn't have done that, mostly because I don't have a death wish, but, I don't want you to start talking so let me put this on you" he said as he pulled out a small towel out of his pocket. "Good. this contruption will prevent most sounds to come out of your mouth."

Later Seunghyun and Daesung came back home and surprisingly didn't get scolded by Youngbae. Jiyong and Seungri got out of the shower. "Jiyong! Why the fuck did you put THAT in Seungri's mouth!?" Youngbae asked worried about pure Seungri's well being. "Relax, I didn't fuck him. I put that in his mouth to stop him from talking." Jiyong said, trying to calm Youngbae down. "But you love Seungri's voice. I don't get the point of stopping him from talking." "His voice is annoying like this." Jiyong told Youngbae. "I mean it's true... Anyway go to sleep Seungri. Jiyong, sleep with him."

Youngbae, Seunghyun and Daesung got to bed aswell.

The next morning Seungri woke up and found Jiyong next to him. "Oi bitch!" "Shut up Seungri." Seungri wasn't pleased with Jiyong's response. "Jiyong, why did I wake up with this in my mouth?" "You turned pure and your voice was annoying instead of the usual sexy voice of yours." Jiyong replied. "If you say so. Oh gosh I can't remember shit from yesterday" "Well, you said that you wanted me to fuck you hard tomorrow night. And since today is yesterday's tomorrow then I need to fulfil your wish." Jiyong said to the younger. "Gochimal! I said that the day before yesterday." 

So Seungri turned back to devilish and Jiyong fulfilled his wish.

Le End


End file.
